so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize