the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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