I seem to have left my pride at pride
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
