is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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