My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
