Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just found puke in my bra..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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