I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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