Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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