If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
