Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
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