yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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