It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
