bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
