Don't make out with my wife yet
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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