i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
