I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
