Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
