hell yes lets make some ravioli
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
