this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.