What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.