$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.