ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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