How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I FOUND THE LEGS
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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