Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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