Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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