U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
