I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
