Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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