I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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