She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
