You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
