Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
