I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize