would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
