you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize