watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
