I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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