dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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