did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize