Well apparently he's into motor boating.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
