so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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