brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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