yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Houston, we have a blender
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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