Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize