Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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