So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize