Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
