So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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