Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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