Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid