Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.