forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.