so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?