BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
