You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
