Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
