Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
