Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
