Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
