He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
