i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
