I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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